A few hours before my test, I am blogging. Maybe it is a subconscious way of preparing for the analytical writing section, to ensure that my fingers are connected to my arms, to my brain by way of fasciculi, nerves, tracts, and whatnot. Could be that I'm a little jittery.
I'm jittery. But I know that last night, at clinic, I felt calmer than I've been in a while. Seeing what has been created: a medical home for folks to go, feel safe, and address their concerns. The idea of a home to me, lowers my blood pressure, that's for sure. And it helps to go remember the reason why I put myself through more math than I've cared to do in years, spouting essays about seemingly unimportant issues, and completing sentences with words I wouldn't have used anyway. (Though my adoration for analogies has never left me).
Funny that every "big thing" we come to is the biggest and most insurmountable, seeming, until the next. And so I'm off to this one. Rilke reminds me that I ought to "Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart, and learn to love the questions themselves". I think I can do that. Especially the math ones.